I guess I would have to say that after many years of mistreatment. And I do mean mistreatment. Slander big time against my name, never taken care of. That was o.k. it was just me. An abusive husband, who held positions of M.S., elder, and pioneering right up to the end. It was when they kicked me out.
I lived behind the KH, at their insistence and encouragment, and a great deal of coaxing. As there had been vandalism comitted and they needed the protection of a warm living body to discourage any more. Lived through hell those almost eight years because there was constant pressure to keep everything looking up to their standards. The ex was a lazy bum and I had to do it all plus work full time and put in unbelievable amounts of F.S time. Plus being screamed at and abused 24-7. The pressure was horrific. He left me in September of 1997. Let me repeat that. He left me!!!! In October of 1997, they gave me my walking papers. After almost eight years of not paying rent I had to find an apartment on my own. Take care of all the loose ends that the ex left me with. Plus deal with a deep depression and no help from the one's who claimed to be "acting as my head" in the absence of the ex. Those were their exact words when they saw fit to call me into the back room and counsel me on the amount of cleavage showing on my person. They were "acting as my head". But that doesn't mean they helped me to get rid of a twenty year old mobile home that I had bought at their coaxing. No that required a dead line. June of 1998 or "we will get rid of it".
Then when no one called or bothered to check on me when it was obvious I was missing quite a few meetings. That pretty much clinched it. This is just the tip of the iceberg. It would take a book to record it all.
The final indignity was when I finally did sell the trailer, two elders came over (first one's in a year or maybe a little less) They came to inform me that if any damage was done to their precious newly paved parking lot when the home was moved I would be responsible.
For once in my life, I stuck up for myself. I told them that if they tried to lay that on me, I would make their name mud. I would make it so public what they had done to me that they would wish they were never born. I also told them it was too late anyway, the whole neighborhood was talking about those terrible JW men who had kicked out a poor woman whose husband had walked out on her. So their name was already mud. Needless to say, my threat of going public scared them. I never heard another word out of them on that subject. I moved in November of 1998. Not before one of the lovely elders told me I had no friends "because I thought I was smarter, better, and prettier than anyone else", this being said when I called to inform them that I was moving and already crying hysterically.
Yep, I guess you could say, that is when I started moving on.
TW
thinkers wife
JoinedPosts by thinkers wife
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22
What Was THE Straw That Broke Your "Camel'...
by Francois inthere are lots of outrageous things that have happened to each of us in our longer or shorter association with the jay-dubs.
but it's amazing sometimes what teeny things have been the final straw.. being raised as a jw, i swallowed most stuff whole my entire life.
then, as a teen began to question some things, but waited patiently for jehovah to straightened things out.
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thinkers wife
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19
tears of sorrow, tears of joy
by Mommie Dark incoming out of this religion nearly killed me.
every single core belief i ever held has been mangled, strangled, drawn&quartered, dipped in pitch and burnt and reduced to carbon ash.
my mind and heart got buried in the soulquake; a protoplasmic blob of rage of pain of stifled grief was all that remained of the human who was born me in lodi ohio.
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thinkers wife
Mommy Dark,
IMO, this was an astounding post. Your writing skills are a marvel. I truly love it and was touched in a place that I can't even begin to put in words.
Have you thought about writing professionally? Or maybe you already do.
My love and thoughts are coming your way. And I always have extra hugs to hand out.
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78
Panties or Thongs, WHICH????????????
by JT ini thought the name of this thread was so on time for this thread demostrates one of the sad things about claiming to speak for god, when one actually does not.. when i was a newly appointed elder at the tender age of 27 .
i was introduced to the world of the judical committee.. it was in fact my first case.
i had gotten a call from the po before the meeting stating that their would be an elders meetings to discuss some judical matters.
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thinkers wife
JT,
Thank you so much for this thread. I love your honesty. And I love the way you don't hide anything for your own part.
I have been on the recieving end of this despicable behaviour. Starting when I was seventeen and raped by one who claimed to be of the annoited.
Giving credit where credit is due, some of the elder's handled it properly. But to some it was a sideshow and something to relish and enjoy. It sickens me, that I allowed them to back me into that corner.
I hope that someday some of them will feel as you do and remember.
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57
Tales from the Couch
by Seven ini asked my therapist if it is possible for a patient to be re-traumatized during the course of treatment.
confronting memories over and over again.
painting mental images even more graphic to replace the vague ones i once had-is this a good thing?
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thinkers wife
Hi Jezebel,
Love your name!! Got that label once in the Borg! Sorry to hear about the things happening to you. I also experienced some of that type of anxiety! Good for you to keep trying to overcome.
Seven,
Been thinking about you a lot lately. Just waiting for your lead.
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13
my intro and 1st impression of Memorial
by BlueDanube ini'm a new member but have been a lurker for some time, even more so since witnet went down.. i have never been a jw, though i have a couple family members on my side who are, also my inlaws and my inactive jw husband.
right now i'm studying though it's more out of learning about them and finding out what makes them tick rather than joining.
also the jws are the only religion that my husband would allow me to get involved with.
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thinkers wife
Blue,
Welcome!!! And please elaborate. I have the same questions as the others. In the JW world the Memorial is a sacred event. I have never ever (and I was a witness for almost forty years) heard of a JW who has never been to a Memorial.
What is the story here on your partner?
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25
it just got more interesting.
by Texasbred inthe woman i am dating has a 4 year old child.
he's a cute kid, and we get along very well.. the father was once a jw and he went to the same kingdom hall as my girlfriend.
but now he's out and celebrates holidays, birthdays, etc.
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thinkers wife
Texas,
I sure am glad you are perservering here. So many true and good things have been said.
In a sense, Melissa and I are similiar. The one missing factor that only she knows is how she truly feels about the religion. If she is just acting out on her needs and fantasies through you but still believes, you have a real problem.
IMO, the basis for any relationship is communication. If you two are having trouble communicating, about anything, now, then what about in the future.
There are a lot of variables that we here are not aware of. I.E. how long you two have been in a relationship. How serious are each of you taking it. You both have to be on the same level emotionally in this thing, or again there will be problems. Sounds to me like you have marriage in mind, or at least a long-term, comitted relationship. What is in her mind? What are her plans for the future? Are you in the long-term picture in her mind?
I think you need to very seriously sit down and discuss these things with her. If she is serious about you and you are in the long-term picture of her life, then get down to the nitty gritty and start discussing how you are going to handle the differences down the road.
I also think, you need to address the possibility of her getting disfellowshipped. Because it is a very real possibility. Find out if she has thought about that and how it will affect the two of you. How is she going to handle that? Is she ready to handle it? Does she want you in her life so much that she will invest her time and emotions in your relationship even with that possiblity hanging over her head? Will she blame you somewhere down the road for this?
The questions are endless and only the two of you can resolve them. Talk, talk, talk. And be honest. You be honest too. When you consider all of these things, tell her how you really feel about them. Of course be kind and loving when doing it. But don't hide your feelings!! It is oh so important to be honest. Because if you do end up together, it will have an affect on your life.
Good Luck Tex!!!! Hope it works out well for you!
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29
Self Hypnosis
by TR injust wondering if any here have tried this, and what were your results.
or, does it offend your religious and/or spiritual senses?.
tr
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thinkers wife
TR,
Hope we get some educated responses on this. Thinker and I are interested in this.
Good question though Wendy!
Dig,
Cool experience. And I love your signature too!!
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46
Tonight's memorial - did you go?
by dmouse inmy wife has just left for the memorial.. just before she went she asked me to come...this was the second year in a row that i declined.
i hated seeing her so sad, i almost agreed to go just to cheer her up but that would betray her in a very real sense.
to go to the memorial would be an admission in her eyes (and other jws) that i still believe deep down that it is the truth.
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thinkers wife
Welcome to anyone I have missed. Just an oversight. So many new one's.
Bob's girl,
A toast (grape juice for you) to the men in our life who care enough to do the research and give us strength!!! Thinker knows more about JW's than I do I think. And I was raised as one and stayed in until I was about thiry-eight.
Congradulations on your up coming event!!!
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205
HELLO? HELLO? "ALL" SIGN IN???????
by waiting insimon did away with the sex forum - so i must take the tradional route and post under "make new friends.
" how mundane!.
fyi ---- for all of us, please take the time to write a sentence or two about yourselves, and encourage new ones to do the same.
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thinkers wife
Welcome to all the newbies. And thank you for sharing a piece of your life with us.
Waiting, Hats off to you again for being persistant about this hello thread!!!
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28
New one
by Ingrid inhello i'm ingrid from sweeden.
i'm new ere.
is this a witnesses of jehowa site or an apostate site?.
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thinkers wife
I'm tellin' ya' you guys are too much. You crack me up.
TW